Dispensary Review Guidelines

Ok, it has taken me a little while to figure out what exactly the guidelines for my dispensary reviews should be. I wanted to be fair and address issues that all you readers can understand. I will include guest judge's opinions when they are along for the ride. I want to be the only completely unbiased dispensary reviews on the internet. Too many other reviews are influenced by the employees of the dispensaries or janky customers that will never be happy. I look upon every dispensary with optimism and understand that it is still just a business. So the guidelines that it will be graded upon are as follows:

Comfortability: The amount of comfort the patient feels while purchasing his medication.

Quality of Medication: The overall quality of medication.

Selection: The size of the selection of different products and strains.

Knowledgeable Staff: How knowledgeable the staff is and willing to share knowledge.

Neighborhood: Due to the controversial issue of medical marijuana many of the dispensaries fall into certain shady neighborhoods. I will rate the neighborhood's safety (very useful for elderly patients).

Wait Times: The amount of wait time in the lobby and while getting medication fulfilled.

Prices/Deals: The rating of overall prices verses quality of medication and special on-going deals.

If anyone has any other ways to rate dispensaries please feel free to comment.

Mendo Purps

I got this on from 1 Love Wellness again (new dispensaries next week). I couldn't find its lineage on the internet. I'm guessing it started in Mendocino, CA. It is a beautiful dark dark purple with slight green hues, yellowy-orange pistils, and yellowy trichomes. It gives off a floral sweet smell almost like sherbert. It has a little of the piney sweet note in the smell when broken up.


Taste: 4 stars
Very fruity with a little citrus/piney flavor. It tastes kinda like a mixture of grape candy and sherbert.


Smoothness: 3 stars
Pretty Smooth.


High: 2 1/2 stars


Length: 2 Stars
Average.


Strength: 3 Stars
It hit hard about 1/3 thru the blunt. It was instantly cerebral, it made me a little tired with pretty tight eyes. This strain hit very, very hard but I think it let down a little too quickly.


Overall: 3 1/6 Stars
I know another vague fraction. I really like Mendo Purps, I think the only thing that kept it from being number one was the quick let down. But it deserves something for the taste and how hard it hit me in the beginning.

Kryptonite

I got this strain from 1 Love Wellness. It is a mix of Sour Diesel and something else, it is Sativa dominant. It had very dense nugs with brown-orange pistils, yellowy trichomes and a dark green that almost radiates from it. You can see in the picture that almost a glow comes off of it. The smell was earthy with a funky catpiss kinda smell, almost a cheese aroma. It gave a slight citrus scent when broken up.


Taste: 2 Stars
Earthy, a smooth kinda sweet taste with a citrus/piney note in the back.


Smoothness: 3 Stars
Very smooth, not perfect but very smooth.


High: 3 Stars

Length: 2 Stars
Slightly above average.


Strength: 3 Stars
Uplifting high. Very inspirational. Not jittery with a nice smooth let down.


Overall: 2 2/3 Stars
A very nice strain that I would recommend but not enough going for it to take 1st place.

Blue Dream

This is another strain I copped from 1 Love Wellness. I looked it up on the internet and it looks like it should be a cross of Blueberry and Haze. It is a light green with light orange pistils and amber trichomes. It smells kinda like that old cheese smell. It was pretty funky, stronger than Voodoo Kush. When broken up it smelled far more limey/piney.


Taste: 2 Stars
A little bit of a sweet lime taste but nothing special.


Smoothness: 3 Stars
Very smooth but not perfect. A few harsh moments.


High: 3 Stars

Length: 3 Stars
Above average.

Strength: 3 Stars
I felt it half way thru the blunt. It was a very cerebral high with a big emphasis behind the eyes. There is also a lot of feeling in the top of the head and ears. It gave me sleepy eyes (what I call when my eyes get tight). This was pretty potent with a decent body buzz. It felt like a Indica dominant strain instead of its middle of the road forecast.


Overall: 2 2/3 Stars
This is a very good hybrid. I would recommend it but it needs more personality to be the best.

Cherry Bomb

I got this hybrid from 1 Love Wellness. I looked it up on the internet and saw that the average Cherry Bomb is a cross of Sage and Lionheart (I'd like to remind everyone that I understand that different seed companies have the same names with different crosses but I just like to do some research). They said this was a cross between AK47 and something else (I think Cherry Kush). I will remember the specifics of hybrids better from now on. So, this strain was kinda a mix of light and dark green with very long very orange pistils and yellowy trichomes. It smelled very sweet and fruity. Kinda smelled like cherry or strawberry fruit rollups. A slurpy kind of smell erupts from it when it is broken up.


Taste: 4 Stars
Sweet Cherry Flavor.


Smoothness: 4 Stars
Very Smooth.


High: 2 1/2 Stars

Length: 2 Stars
Average

Strength: 3 Stars
Very behind the eyes. A very clear and chill kind of high. Not very sleepy all around good high. Well balanced with a decent body high.


Overall: 3 1/2 Stars
A very good flavor and high. I really liked this hybrid and would recommend it to anyone.

Voodoo Kush

I got this strain from 1 Love Wellness. It is a hybrid that is pretty middle of the road. I tried looking it up on the internet with no success. It is a dark forest green with yellowy trichomes and tan pistils. It smells stinky, almost like old cheese, but a little floral. When it was broken up it smelled far more pungent with a piney/lime smell added.


Taste: 3 Stars
A lime candy taste that was a little sour and a little spicy. Very clean on the inhale.


Smoothness: 3 Stars
Very smooth, not perfect, but very smooth.


High: 2 1/2 Stars

Length: 2 Stars
Average

Strength/Feeling: 3 Stars
I felt it 1/3 of the way through the blunt. It was pretty smooth coming on with a decent body high. I could feel it in the ears and top of the head. A little cerebral. It felt like a more Indica strain rather than a middle of the road.


Overall: 2 5/6 Stars
I know a fairly unspecific fraction, but what can ya do. This felt more Indica dominant than complete middle of the road hybrid. It was very good and I would recommend it.

StarDawg

I got this hybrid from the El Camino Wellness Center. I tried looking it up on the internet but I couldn't find out what it is a cross of other than ChemDawg. It is a sativa dominant strain. This hybrid is dark green with orange/brown pistils and yellow trichomes. It smells a little earthy with a little skunky sting. Similar to Catpiss.

Taste: 2 Stars
It's good but nothing special. A slight citrus sting.

Smoothness: 1 Star
A little harsh, not really that smooth.

High: 1 1/2 Stars

Length: 1 Star
A little short. I'm kinda disappointed.

Strength/Feeling: 2 Stars
Ok, average. Not much of a sativa high to me. A little cerebral. Kinda sleepy.

Munchies: A little bit.

Overall: 1 1/2 Stars
This strain just isn't cutting the mustard. I had high hopes for it. I thought it could be a lot better.

Green Ribbon

This is the house hybrid at Unity Non-Profit Collective. It was Afghani (I think) x Green Crack x something else (I think Trainwreck). Either way, I found that this strain or at least the name is around the internet but no further information. It is a light yellowish green with light brown/orange pistils and amber crystals. It smells earthy and floral with a little citrus sting. When it is broken up, it gives off a strong cherry candy-like smell.

Taste: 3 Stars
Light fresh citrus with a sweet cherry background.

Smoothness: 2 Stars
A little harsh at first but it smooths out in the end.

High: 2 Stars

Length: 2 Stars
It was an average high in length.

Strength: 2 Stars
I felt it half through the blunt. It was chill but not too sleepy. I felt a slight sativa buzz. I could barely feel something in my forehead.

Munchies: Yes but not a crazy amount.

Overall: 2 1/3 Stars
This strain is pretty good. I would consider it another middle of the road hybrid but with a little more complexity. It also had a nice sweet cherry taste.

Headband

Headband is a hybrid strain supposedly a mix between OG Kush and Sour Diesel, some also say Master Kush is in the mix.

The strain was light green with amber trichomes and orange brown pistils. Pretty frosty. It had a lemony strong but kinda sweet smell. A very fresh smell. This strain was obtained at Unity Non-Profit Collective.

Taste: 2 Stars
Light lemony flavor that is kinda fresh tasting. Ok but nothing special.

Smoothness: 3 Stars
Pretty Smooth. Not super smooth but not bad either.

High: 2 Stars

Length: 2 Stars
It lasted an average high. Not bad.

Strength/Feeling: 2 Stars
About half way through the blunt I started feeling something. It was light coming on but smooth. It was a little cerebral and that feeling grew throughout the high (not surprising due to the name). It kinda gave me sleepy eyes (that's what I call it when it makes your eyes tight) without the sleepy feelings. It was chill, not sleepy, just chill. A good example of a hybrid.

Overall: 2 1/3 Stars
A good middle of the road hybrid.

Jack Herer

The Jack Herer strain is a hybrid cross between Skunk #1, Northern Lights #5 and Haze. It was named in honor of Jack Herer author and cannabis decriminalization activist. It is sativa dominant strain. It won the seventh High Times Cannabis Cup.

The strain was light green with lavender spotting on some undersides of the bud and clay-colored pistils. It was coated with white and amber trichomes. It had a piney/lime smell that filled the room as soon as I opened the container. Super pungent. The picture is a full 8th nug. This strain was obtained from El Camino Wellness Center.

Taste: 2 Stars
It was a light piney taste with a little lime flavor in it. Kind of fresh but a little sour.

Smoothness: 4 stars
Very, very smooth from beginning to end.

High: 3 stars

Length: 3 stars
Pretty long and a steady high.

Strength/Feeling: 3 stars
I felt it 2/3 into the blunt. It hit hard and felt pretty potent. It was very cerebral, especially behind the eyes. It had a good body high, almost feeling light. You could tell this was sativa dominant, it was energetic but still little calm.

Overall: 3 stars
A very good strong sativa dominant strain that I would recommend to anyone.

My Vow To My Readers

My vow to all my readers is a non-biased opinion. This is a non-biased opinion about dispensaries and different medical marijuana strains. I will provide the locations that all of the strains can be found. I will judge all strains according to three different categories: Taste, Smoothness, and High. High is broken into the length, strength, and feeling. I will include descriptions of smell and how each kind looks. I will also have plenty of pictures for all you nugheads. I will be providing dispensary reviews after each dispensary has been reviewed a few times. I have noticed that there is a difference between the first and second visit at many dispensaries mainly because they want all first patients to become repeat customers.

Hello, My Name Is Spectre

I am a DJ, music producer, entrepeneur, and medical marijuana patient. I am on a quest to find the best strain that can be legally purchased at a marijuana dispensary in California. I will be going to as many well-regarded cannabis clubs in and around California as possible, in order to find the perfect strain of marijuana. Each dispensary that I go to I am going to have the budtender recommend a specific strain and I will choose one strain out of the best 5 strains they carry (by look, smell, and reputation). I will judge each strain according to specific rules. I will smoke .5 grams from sober. I will not mix each strain with any other medical marijuana. I will not break it by hand, as to not lose crystals. I will not grind my marijuana in any grinder with a kief catcher, as to not lose crystals. I will not eat prior to smoking by at least a few hours. I will not smoke out of flavored wraps or cigars. The length of the high will be timed. 1 star = So-So, 2 star = Good, 3 star = Very Good, 4 star = Excellent, 5 Star = Extraordinary